At times I like to reminisce on past musings. So here goes…
A very many years ago, my daughter started teaching my 18-month-old son how to say Mommy, but she was teaching him to say “Mommy B”…
At first I thought that it was cute that now all the kids (biological and step kids) all call me Mommy B and was thankful my bonus kids wanted to call me that on their own volition. But that got me thinking…and me thinking unsupervised is never a good thing.
The thing is on the one hand I went to ridiculous attempts to make sure my bonus kids don’t ever feel like I was trying to be their mother or that I was trying to take her place. So at any turn (tempted as I might be to one up), I resisted the opportunity and always refered them back to mom. It’s every mother’s right to the hero and share certain moments in her children’s life and I can’t take that away. Hell, I didn’t even play tooth fairy; we’d wrap those teeth up and take them back to Mom. That way she gets to do what all Moms should be doing and I save some cash!
On the other hand I also went to amazing lengths trying to not be too Smother Mother to my own sprogs over weekends so as not to make the others feel “not at home”. As a result I didn’t give my own kids any favours or special attention that I felt might have left the others feeling less than.
This however clearly left me in no mans land where I was now Mommy B to everyone and Mom to none. Was I doing my own children a disservice in the way I was handling it all. I don’t know. Was it an indictment on my parenting that my daughter was now addressing me the same as the bonus kids? Did I lose my identity as a biological mother?
Is it possible that in my self-commissioned mission to be the best Bonus Mom in the world, I might have become the worst mom in the world?
I hope not, but time will tell…well that or the memoirs my kids will publish if they ever decide to write a tell-all book …
I still have no answers today, and its only 10am so I haven’t started worshipping at the alter of champagne yet…
